Someday, we will only just remember how it feels.

I was on my way home from a quick bite with a couple of friends, when Rob Thomas' "Someday" came on the radio. It was the first time I had heard the song and it was rather poignant and relative to my life as of late. So of course I did 1 of 2 things: 1) I looked up the lyrics. 2)I pulled Rob Thomas up on a play list. Reading through the lyrics, I was touched and it got me thinking about life and choices, life and circumstances and life and relationships.

Here are lyrics from "Someday" and "Little Wonders", both of which are performed by Rob Thomas:

Someday

You can go
You can start all over again
You can try to find a way to make another day go by
You can hide
Hold all your feelings inside
You can try to carry on when all you want to do is cry

[Chorus:]
And maybe someday
We'll figure all this out
Try to put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to make things better now and
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow
Someday

Now wait
And try to find another mistake
If you throw it all away then maybe you can change your mind
You can run, oh
And when everything is over and done
You can shine a little light on everything around you
Man it's good to be someone

[Chorus]

And I don't want to wait
I just want to know
I just want to hear you tell me so
Give it to me straight
Tell it to me slow

Cause maybe someday
We'll figure all this out
We'll put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to just feel better now and
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow
Someday

Cause sometimes we don't really notice
Just how good it can get
So maybe we should start all over
Start all over again



Little Wonders

let it go,
let it roll right off your shoulder
don't you know
the hardest part is over
let it in,
let your clarity define you
in the end
we will only just remember how it feels

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

let it slide,
let your troubles fall behind you
let it shine
until you feel it all around you
and i don't mind
if it's me you need to turn to
we?ll get by,
it's the heart that really matters in the end

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

all of my regret
will wash away some how
but i can not forget
the way i feel right now

in these small hours
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away but these small hours
these small hours, still remain,
still remain
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away
but these small hours
these little wonders still remain

Both of these songs reminded me of people around me and their circumstances in life; people who have lost their husbands, wives, sons, daughters, friends, to war, cancer, hate. People who are considering a change in relationship, whether it be divorce or marriage, moving from home, or moving back. People who are about to change their lives, whether through moving or going to school, graduating, or other choices. Some people starting over or ending a chapter in their lives.

It's interesting to me to see how everyone in my life is making some sort of change. I can see it, feel it in the air. There must be something in the water, because its everywhere. I know for myself, change has been a long time coming, and I am facing a lot of change, some met with obstacles, others a smile and a word of encouragement. I am working on changing my lifestyle in many ways: the way I eat, to exercise more, those I spend time with, the way I approach situations and people, and admitting to myself that I have a serious case of postpartum depression. For me that is a difficult realization. I was raised to believe that depression was a personal weakness and that "its all in your head" and that its a choice to be depressed, and then having those who said this previously, changing their tune and deciding its ok to be on antidepressants. Very confusing for a young teenager. Going from weakness to "you must have PPD" is a hard about-face. It makes my head spin. Anyway, I know that I do have PPD and that it is something very real and can easily escalate into a very serious issue. But I know I have it, and am dealing with it in my own way. It is difficult to admit something like that though. It makes me feel almost defeated on a daily basis. Its been difficult also because I really don't have anyone to turn to that knows how to help me or support me. I have my husband, but he is a guy, and has no idea how to deal with emotions. I don't have anyone else who really understands a fraction of how I feel other than him though. My family has its own issues, and I barely get a chance to talk to them, and most of my friends either don't have kids or are married, or have their own babies to deal with of course. GO figure. :D

Well, enough of that.

Listening to these two songs just made me realize that, even though I know people who are going through crazy patches in their lives, and though I may feel it, I am not alone in feeling the way I do about life. It helps me to think of it that way, that there are people who read my posts on Facebook, who are silently supporting me and praying for me in their own way, just the same as I am keeping them in my thoughts and prayers, silently supporting them, even though I may not say so.

The lyrics of these two songs remind me that every thing is temporary: the craziness of life, the stresses and complication. That eventually they even them selves out and that:

"Someday, We'll figure all this out. We'll put an end to all our doubt. Try to find a way to just feel better now and Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud, We'll be better off somehow, Someday."

So,

"let it go, let it roll right off your shoulder. don't you know the hardest part is over let it in, let your clarity define you. In the end, we will only just remember how it feels."