Liz and Dick, a story I just fell in love with.

http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/features/2010/07/elizabeth-taylor-201007?currentPage=

Washington government has its priorities straight.....

http://www.seattlepi.com/local/6420ap_wa_governors_table.html

Apparently $10,000 was spent on the restoration project; half from a private fund and the other half from the General Administration budget.

"The top House budget writer, Democratic Rep. Kelli Linville of Bellingham, said the table expenditure is unnecessary at a time when she and other lawmakers closed about $12 billion in budget shortfalls over two years by cutting more than $4 billion in programs and personnel, using reserves and federal aid and raising taxes by upward of $800 million.

She acknowledged the cost is not huge but said the fact that it is being paid by taxpayer dollars is "symptomatic" of challenges lawmakers face in setting budget priorities."

Do I need to tell you how I feel about this??????

In a time when friends of mine are losing their jobs at the state because of these budget shortfalls......

Plastic surgery and all the things I hate about myself

Don't worry, this isn't a negative post. I just happened to watch a lot of trashy TV (E! network) today because I wasn't feeling well and ended up laying on the floor or couch, not moving much. This post is entirely vain, so if you are offended by it, remember, its my body, not yours. But please feel free to comment your thoughts on cosmetic surgeries at the end.

The topic of today: physical perceptions.

Here is my perception on the whole plastic surgery bit. I am for it. Yeah, I came out looking how God intended me to, but I have screwed it up a bit along the way. SO here are a few things I would have done and why.

1. My boobs: I have HUGE boobs. Even when I was a size 5/6, they were borderline small D's big C's. I want a reduction, lift and augmentation. You would be surprised at how how life is with big boobs. My shoulders hurt, I get tension migraines ALL THE TIME, my back aches and buying bra's? Forget about it. Not to mention exercising is a BITCH. I wear 2 bras usually, one sports bra and an under-wire one under that, plus I usually wear 2 tanks with built in bra's on top just for good measure. Those suckers ain't goin anywhere. I am still trying to figure out how to get a Dr to sign off on it so my insurance will pay for it........ (Any tips???)

2. My teeth: I have bad teeth. They have no enamel, and no immune system, so they are incredibly susceptible to infections, rotting and cavities. Also, I still have 6 baby teeth.... there were no adults behind them. Let me assure you: I take and have always taken good care of my teeth. I brush 2x a day, maybe don't floss enough, but I take good care other than that. SO, I want new teeth. The whole mouth, just rip 'em out and give me new ones. BUT, implants cost $3000 a tooth and NO insurance covers more than 1/4 of that cost......

3. My bottom 2-3 ribs. This one is entirely vain. My bottom ribs stick out at least an inch from being pregnant with my daughter. I know that this is completely natural, but when I loose the weight I want to lose, that inch will be noticeable, and I want it gone.

4. Tummy tuck and a little lipo around my hips and inside of my thighs: This again is completely vain. I have always wanted my thighs to NOT touch. But I am slightly knock-kneed and have THICK thighs..... I have always had them touch, and it drives me absolutely BONKERS! Not to mention that the inside of ALL my pants wear out in just a few months because of it. I don't know how many jeans I have that are crotchless...... I have always had boxy hips that are just a fine layer of fat that settled into my "muffin top" area, and no matter how fit I've ever been, its always there. The tummy tuck part is of course, due to being preggo with my baby girl. Another vain thing, but I noticed that even though it looks like a roll of fat when I sit down or bend over, it is really just a large bit of skin that is no longer attached to my muscle wall. I know that a LOT of sit ups, yoga and Pilate's will minimize this, but it will always be there. I want it gone.

I find it interesting that on this list of things I want to fix, my nose doesn't even rate.

When I was in grade school, my nose was the bane of my existence. I hated it. Then in 7th grade I saw a picture of myself from the side and all I saw was NOSE!! I spent the rest of middle school sitting at my desk, covering my nose so no one would stare at how HUGE and Jewish it looked, (I am part Jewish, no racism is meant by that comment). I swore for the next 5 years that I would get rich some day and the first thing I would do was get a nose job. OR, I would get signed and the record company would give me a make over that included minimizing my nose.... ridiculous, I know. Now, however, I like my nose. I grew into it. I actually like my face a lot and there is nothing that I would do to change it, nothing a little makeup can't take care of anyhow, (I like to "adjust" the shape and size of my lips on occasion.... haha!)

I think cosmetic surgery is just fine, in moderation. And frankly, the two on my list that are incredibly vain, I could probably fix on my own, I just haven't yet. I am working on losing it, and improving my body image for MYSELF, and no one else. The first two are more of health concerns though they do have their vain bits to them (better smile, smaller and more manageable cleavage....). I think that my quality of personal health and life would change if I had these things done, for me.

So, What is your opinion on plastic surgery? What would you change about yourself and why?

Life is tough.... Now what are you gonna do about it?

I spent a lot of my life complaining. Who hasn't.

If you know me, you know that I am pretty much an open book when it comes to my life. I have nothing to hide, and if I do, I just don't tell you about it. But mostly, I am an open book. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and you know who and what I care about.

In the last year, I have changed. A LOT. I have become mean, vindictive and spiteful. Three things I had always prided myself on NOT being. As a child, I was bright, bubbly, inquisitive, imaginative, helpful and kind. The older I got, I soon discovered sarcasm, and used it often as a protective shield against the world and those things that I was afraid of. Did I just say that in the past tense? Allow me to rephrase... I use it often against things I am afraid of. Lately, I have realized that I am cantankerous, short tempered and petty.

Even as I sit here typing, I try to pass this off as someone else' fault. If only Soandso was not a part of my life, or if Whatshisname had never broken my heart, or, IfonlyIhad/hadn't made X choice..... I find it hard in remembering that I make my own choices to be who/what I want to be. No one else makes that decision for me. ME.

Life is hard, and full of foolish mistakes; whether they be what you allow to affect you and you attitude, or whether we allow someone to use us in a negative manner, or going where we want to in life or being too passive to make the choices that ultimately make the ME happy and contented in life.

I constantly find myself making choices in what and how something affects me. Lately, I have taken the lazy, easy, passive route which ultimately make things (read:life) harder than necessary. I have let things in my life that I have NO control over take ME over and harden me into a less caring, angry individual. Instead of looking to the positive, and letting these things roll off of my back, I have let them gather into a chip on my shoulder.

Life is tough, so what are you going to do about it?

I heard this some where at some point in my life, and it didn't apply to me then, so I apparently stored it up to use when it did apply to me; and I have referenced it to myself a lot in the last 5 years, but till now, rarely applied it to my daily decisions.

Life is tough, so why make it harder on yourself by choosing to gather the negative in a burden to carry on you back?

Well, there's today's random thought.

Hope you have a sunshiney, summery day!

11 months? What?????

As of 3:11am, my daughter will be 11 months old.

I spent all weekend long revisiting the day I went into labour, giving birth and many other moments through out my pregnancy. As I remember these once in a lifetime moments in my life, I felt that I should share these with everyone.

THE:
two tests I took before I realized it was real.....
hearing her heart beat for the first time. It sounded like a metal "thunder" board.
first time I felt that "flutter", and realized that it wasn't a muscle spasm.
first time I smelled something that made me want to barf.... pork baby back ribs....and enjoyed it.
trying to squeeze into my "fat jeans" only to happily realize, I needed to purchase maternity pants.
seeing and feeling her move while watching the ultrasound.
19 week and 4 day ultrasound that told us "ITS A GIRL!!!"
watching Brian jumping off the chair, punching the air and yelling "YES!!!"
first stretch mark.
round belly that I couldn't keep my hands off of.
seeing a little foot, hand and elbow pushing out of my side.
little fingers or toes in my ribs at any time during the day or night.
HEARTBURN!!
Sciatica so bad I would lose strength in my legs to stand.
birth class...... it was.... interesting to say the least...... oh those two idiots........ and the ones of questionable age.....
wanting and almost making of chocolate peanut butter no bake cookies at 3am... then......
rush I felt at 5am, thinking I peed myself.
laughing at Brian when he handed me a washcloth to soak up the amniotic fluid..........
humor of watching Brian running around the house trying to repack my bag.
him yelling "Why are you so calm?" then looking at the dog, "Why are you just sitting there??"
calling the labour and delivery ward, asking to take a shower and them laughing at me.
22 hours of labour
hearing Brian say that he was getting a promotion at work.
dose of Nubain that felt like 3 glasses of wine with out the neurological side affects.... it was amazing.
being so happy that I would be delivering with the OB I had been seeing since she was on call.
hating and then LOVING my final delivery nurse cause she wasn't as cheerful as the rest.
sudden rush of "Alright, lets start." at 230am on July 7th.
45 minutes of pushing before they laid the most beautiful baby girl on my chest.
hearing her cry for the first time.
crying because it was the happiest moment in my life.
kissing my husband, who was so supportive, and so tender to me during the whole process.


There is nothing in the world like the first few moments after you have given birth. Those are moments you will cherish for the rest of your life. Even now, I am almost brought to tears thinking about that day.

In one month, my daughter, the love of my life, will be one year old. I am in awe. I am sad. I am scared. I am breathless. I am in love.

She is beautiful and growing so quickly. I don't want to miss one moment.