Today I talked to my mother-in-law for about 45 minutes, which, while its not that unusual, I found myself wishing I would just shut up, but couldnt stop myself. And as I am writing, I realize, that I kept talking because I felt the need to connect with another human being on a deep, emotional level, and she happened to be there at the right moment, and was someone I was comfortable enough with for me to do so.
The human need for emotional connection with other humans, is something that is complicated and has been confusing the human population since the dawn of time. Adam needed something more than physical company, he needed another human being to connect with.
My MIL and I got on to the topic of relationships to ex's, and how it is a natural thing to feel jealous when our ex's move on, regardless of whether or not we have. I know that when one of my ex's finally started steadily dating one girl almost 4 years after we split, I felt insanely jealous, and I know that when my last ex prior to my husband finally dates and marries someone else, I will feel that familiar twinge of jealousy. Its almost as if we are saying "how dare you! How could you move on and be happy after me?" Its not that we dont want them to be happy, its just a normal feeling. As a born and bred Christian, I was taught that we were not intended to date multiple people and then subsequently have sex with multiple people. There is an emotional connection to anyone we are that intimate with that you will not have with those whom you do not/have not had sex with. Sex simply complicates things. We all know its true. No one can deny it, even those who are serial "wam!-bam!-thankyoumaa'am-ers". Regardless of how you feel about sex, it will alway complicate any relationship you have. But I believe it is particularly hard for those who have procreated with a significant other. I know this one person, who had a child with someone, and then several years later, they split up. It took the other party a while before settling down and begining to date someone new, but once they did, the first person became, (from my outside perspective,) insanely jealous and has since done almost anything possible to make life for their ex as difficult as possible, and by doing so, trying to split them and their new partner up. Now the first party moved on, several times infact, but felt that that was alright.
In what way is this ok?
Now, I am saying again, IT IS OK TO FEEL A LITTLE JEALOUS. Just don't act on it. It is normal, considering we were never intended to have multiple partners in the first place. Shakespeare calls jealousy the" Green-Eyed Monster". The philosopher annd founder of Pennsylvania, William Penn, said, "The jealous are troublesome to others, and a torment to themselves." Jealousy only makes your own life a living hell. People can become so blinded by jealousy that they do not even realize how unhappy they are.
Fine Frenzy's song, Almost Lover, "I never wanna see you unhappy, I thought you'd want the same for me."
People who are unhappy, don't want to see those around them happy, because it forces them to realize how unhappy they are.
Maya Angelou had this to say on the subject: "Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening."
I like to research things and in researching this, I found someone who had said it better than I could, so instead of paraphrasing, I will let you read what they wrote. This is what the Bible has to say on the matter:
"The Bible tells us that we are to have the perfect kind of love that God has for us. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5). The more we focus on ourselves and our own desires, the less we are able to focus on God. When we harden our hearts to the truth, we cannot turn to Jesus and allow Him to heal us (Matthew 13:15). But when we allow the Holy Spirit to control us, He will produce in us the fruit of our salvation, which is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). " (http://www.gotquestions.org/jealousy-bible.html)
Well I think that pretty well sums it up.
This ended up going in fifty different directions. So, I will stop for now.
Have a sparkly, love filled day!
The human need for emotional connection with other humans, is something that is complicated and has been confusing the human population since the dawn of time. Adam needed something more than physical company, he needed another human being to connect with.
My MIL and I got on to the topic of relationships to ex's, and how it is a natural thing to feel jealous when our ex's move on, regardless of whether or not we have. I know that when one of my ex's finally started steadily dating one girl almost 4 years after we split, I felt insanely jealous, and I know that when my last ex prior to my husband finally dates and marries someone else, I will feel that familiar twinge of jealousy. Its almost as if we are saying "how dare you! How could you move on and be happy after me?" Its not that we dont want them to be happy, its just a normal feeling. As a born and bred Christian, I was taught that we were not intended to date multiple people and then subsequently have sex with multiple people. There is an emotional connection to anyone we are that intimate with that you will not have with those whom you do not/have not had sex with. Sex simply complicates things. We all know its true. No one can deny it, even those who are serial "wam!-bam!-thankyoumaa'am-ers". Regardless of how you feel about sex, it will alway complicate any relationship you have. But I believe it is particularly hard for those who have procreated with a significant other. I know this one person, who had a child with someone, and then several years later, they split up. It took the other party a while before settling down and begining to date someone new, but once they did, the first person became, (from my outside perspective,) insanely jealous and has since done almost anything possible to make life for their ex as difficult as possible, and by doing so, trying to split them and their new partner up. Now the first party moved on, several times infact, but felt that that was alright.
In what way is this ok?
Now, I am saying again, IT IS OK TO FEEL A LITTLE JEALOUS. Just don't act on it. It is normal, considering we were never intended to have multiple partners in the first place. Shakespeare calls jealousy the" Green-Eyed Monster". The philosopher annd founder of Pennsylvania, William Penn, said, "The jealous are troublesome to others, and a torment to themselves." Jealousy only makes your own life a living hell. People can become so blinded by jealousy that they do not even realize how unhappy they are.
Fine Frenzy's song, Almost Lover, "I never wanna see you unhappy, I thought you'd want the same for me."
People who are unhappy, don't want to see those around them happy, because it forces them to realize how unhappy they are.
Maya Angelou had this to say on the subject: "Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening."
I like to research things and in researching this, I found someone who had said it better than I could, so instead of paraphrasing, I will let you read what they wrote. This is what the Bible has to say on the matter:
"The Bible tells us that we are to have the perfect kind of love that God has for us. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5). The more we focus on ourselves and our own desires, the less we are able to focus on God. When we harden our hearts to the truth, we cannot turn to Jesus and allow Him to heal us (Matthew 13:15). But when we allow the Holy Spirit to control us, He will produce in us the fruit of our salvation, which is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). " (http://www.gotquestions.org/jealousy-bible.html)
Well I think that pretty well sums it up.
This ended up going in fifty different directions. So, I will stop for now.
Have a sparkly, love filled day!
No comments:
Post a Comment