Leaving Christianity/organized religion, and the current thought/rant for today.

http://marquee.blogs.cnn.com/2010/07/30/anne-rice-leaves-christianity/

I caught wind of this article from my friend Heidi, who had posted this on her Facebook page.

I found this relevant to my own faith.  I decidedly quit attending church some time ago, since I have not found one that I have felt was NOT a part of this blood hungry mob.  Granted, my own church that I attended as a youth, is not seemingly a part of this, however, I no longer identify myself as a Lutheran, therefore, no longer attend there.

While I am in the midst of a personal/spiritual remodel, I found this to be synonymous to my own thoughts:

 "It's simply impossible for me to ‘belong’ to this quarrelsome, hostile, disputatious, and deservedly infamous group. For ten years, I've tried. I've failed. I'm an outsider. My conscience will allow nothing else."

While there are a number of things that I refuse to get into the middle of, (which unfortunately makes me a "Lukewarm Christian",) I do have a strong stance on the fact that Christ did not build his church on Hate and Anger, He built it on Love, Forgiveness, and Patience.  When Abraham and his family were sent to Sodom and Gomorrah, God had said,

"The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is great and their sin so grievous that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached me. If not, I will know."

Abraham then said to the Lord,

"Will you sweep away the righteous with the wicked?  What if there are fifty righteous people in the city?  Will you really sweep it away and not spare the fifty righteous people in it? Far be it from you to do such a thing-to kill the righteous with the wicked, treating the righteous and the wicked alike. Far be it from you Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?"  

Then the Lord said,

"If I find fifty righteous people in the city of Sodom, I will spare the whole place for their sake."

Abraham spoke up again:

"Now that I have been so bold as to speak to the Lord, though I am nothing but dust and ashes, what if the number of righteous is five less than fifty? Will you destroy the whole city because of the five people?"

If I find forty-five there," He said, "I will not destroy it."

This conversation between Abraham and God continued, from fifty people to ten people.

"For the sake of ten, I will not destroy it."

I believe that this passage in the Old Testament (Genesis 18:16-33) shows that the Lord is a Man of Tolerance, Love, and of Patience.  He was willing to forgive an entire city of its wrong doings, and impenitent sin if there were only ten people in the entire city, that were blameless and irreproachable.

If God can be so forgiving, and send his ONLY child, to take our sin upon his shoulders and die the ultimate death for us, corrupt, depraved, unforgiving, dishonest, meager people, then why can we not be people of tolerance, and of patience, and not of anger and hate, spite and malice?

Some of my best friends are gay, they have had abortions, they have had premarital sex, drink too much, smoke too much, drive too fast, swear like a sailor and get angry at the slightest provocation.  And they are self proclaimed Christians.

Not one of us is blameless.  There is only ONE who has ever walked this earth and been with out tarnish on his soul.  And HE died so that we can be the depraved individuals that we are.

So what is the organized Church's excuse?

A new world........... Just felt like sharing

A new world calls across the ocean
A new world calls across the sky
A new world whispers in the shadows
Time to fly, time to fly

It's about one moment
The moment before it all becomes clear
And in that one moment
You start to believe there's nothing to fear
It's about one second
And just when you're on the verge of success
The sky starts to change
And the wind starts to blow
And you're suddenly a stranger
There's no explaining where you stand
And you didn't know
That you sometimes have to go
Round an unexpected bend
And the road will end
In a new world

A new world calls for me to follow
A new world waits for my reply
A new world holds me to a promise
Standing by, standing by

It's about one moment
That moment you think you know where you stand
And in that one moment The things that you're sure of slip from your hand
And you've got one second
To try to be clear, to try to stand tall
But nothing's the same
And the wind starts to blow
And you're suddenly a stranger
In some completely different land
And you thought you knew
But you didn't have a clue
That the surface sometimes cracks
To reveal the tracks
To a new world

You have a house in the hills
You have a job on the coast
You find a lover you're sure you believe in
You've got a pool in the back
You get to the part of your life
You hold the ring in your hand

But then the earthquake hits
And the bank closes in
Then you realize you didn't know anything
Nobody told you the best way to steer
When the wind starts to blow

And you're suddenly a stranger (All of a sudden)
You life is different than you planned
And you'll have to stay til you somehow find a way
To be sure of what will be
Then you might be free

A new world crashes down like thunder
A new world charging through the air
A new world just beyond the mountain
Waiting there, waiting there

A new world shattering the silence
There's a new world I'm afraid to see
A new world louder every moment
Come to me, come to me

I never realized...

Today is probably the hardest day of the year for the Cooper household.  Today is the day, that our Little Man moves to Texas with his mother.

We have been preparing ourselves for this week for several months.  I was well aware of how hard it would be on my husband, and how I would need to be strong and hold my head high and keep our family together.  But nothing prepared me for the emotions that are running over, that ran over on Sunday, when his mom picked him up after staying with us for the last month.

Usually when I see my husband cry, even if I want/need to, my body goes into survival mode and I shut down the water system that are my eyeballs.  Not Sunday, and definitely not today.  I tried to hide behind my oversized sunglasses on Sunday, but there was nothing I could do, the tears just kept coming.  We clung desperately to that sweet little boy, trying hard to be strong for him, but we knew it was the second to last time we would see him until November when he stays here for a couple days for Thanksgiving.  Granted we may see him in September for his birthday, but all of us going is dependent upon us saving enough money and getting off of work, so if anything, my husband will be going alone.

Today, I thought that I was over bawling my eyes out, missing that little guy that I have come to love as fiercely as I do my own child, but I had no idea the ache I am feeling right now, the empty spot that is in my chest, wishing that he was still here with us, just for a few more days, turned weeks, months, and years.  I wonder how we are going to keep a strong emotional tie between us and him, one that we all feel, not just us, with thousands of miles between us.  Video chat, emails and phone calls might work for adults, but between a parent and a child??  Especially when that parent and child relationship is strongly discouraged by the other parent?

I didn't fully realize how much my heart would be breaking on this day, thinking that I would be the one holding it together for my husband.  I can not imagine what he is going through today, or what he has been going through for months, knowing that his son was going to be living so far away from him for a majority of his life.  I have tried so hard to just be strong for him, but I didn't realize how selfish I had been, still requiring him to put so much effort into our relationship to such depth that I basically was asking him to ignore his own heart and pain and focus on mine alone.  How selfish and self absorbed can I be?

I love this little boy so deeply, and sometimes its hard to remember that.  I have been fighting a current with him since we met.  I have never had to work so hard to have a child like me.  But with his mother, it has been an uphill battle since day one.  He is the sweetest, brightest and has one of the biggest hearts I have ever met in a child his age.  He tries so hard to be this grownup little man for everyone around him. He has been through so much in his young life, especially in the last year and a half, that it is so completely unfair.

Do any of you have any new ideas on how to keep our relationship alive with our little man??

Sandwich in a Can: The Candwich | TakePart Social Action Network: Important Issues, Activism, Environmental, Human Rights, Political News

Sandwich in a Can: The Candwich | TakePart Social Action Network: Important Issues, Activism, Environmental, Human Rights, Political News

Missy Higgins, "Where I Stood" Lyrics.

For all my friends, guy or girl, who have had to make tough choices in relationships, choices that they regret but know is for the best.

Where I Stood lyrics

I don't know what I've done
Or if I like what I've begun
But something told me to run
And honey you know me it's all or none

There were sounds in my head
LIttle voices whispering
That I should go and this should end
Oh and I found myself listening

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

See I thought love was black and white
That it was wrong or it was right
But you ain't leaving without a fight
And I think I am just as torn inside

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call
You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all
But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you
This is what I have to do

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood
Oh, she who dares to stand where I stood

I am...

A mother
a child
a woman
a thinker
a wanderer
a friend
a student of life
a lover of life
a spontaneous ball of silly combustion
a random act of kindness
a random act of anger and emotional aggression
a stranger unto myself
a jerk
a germa-phobe who has a organization problem
a collector of friends
a musician
a scaredy cat
a stong companion
a fighter
a dose of reality
a bonafide weirdo
a passionate reader
an enigma to myself
beautiful
ugly
short
fat
conscientious
complicated
simple
challenging
obstinate
willing
changing
still the same
unpredictable
spontaneous
confusing
suprising
entertaining
emotional
an adventurer
a dreamer
am not what you expect

I am a woman and I am no one but me. If you can't accept all of this, than you can't have all of me.

Lessons for today.

Today, I learned something about myself: I do not like Uncontrolled Chaos.

I also learned, in the last few days, that running around, taking care of everyone and everything else, is not productive if you do not first take care of your self.  Which if you really think about it, is common knowledge/sense.  Airlines tell you to put your mask on first before assisting others, so why should day to day life be any different?

Thursday, I noticed a slight red area on, well, for lack of a more tactful way to say it, my right breast.

While at camp, I had been bit by a bug, or spider, which either way, sucks (no pun intended!).  I have never really thought about such things and needing to do more than maybe clean the bitten area with some soap and water.  Now, I have a VERY red, swollen and very painful breast.  It got so bad that I visited the ER 2 times on Friday; the 2nd time, I was admitted.  I was there from, basically, Friday night to Sunday afternoon.  I was poked and prodded and they took blood and hooked up 2 IV's more in the course of 2 days then I have in my entire life.  NOT a way to spend the weekend of my daughters first birthday party; WHICH I had to miss. NOT amazing.

I learned an important lesson however: TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!  Don't ignore your body.

We as women tend to ignore ourselves, health-wise, because we "just don't have time", because we are taking care of everyone and everything else around us.  If something as simple as a bug bite can basically cripple you, than think about something "more serious" and how that could knock you down and put you in the hospital or worse!

Well, thats really all I have for now.

TAKE CARE OF YOUR SELF!!!

No. I am not kidding. I wish I was.

Seriously???

If you are a die hard vampire fan, and wish to live a vampiric (sp??) lifestyle, then click here and here.


What the eff? What is this world coming too???????

Do you ever think about what goes into your body, directly affects your body?

http://www.takepart.com/news/2010/06/28/sarah-silverman-wants-healthier-school-lunches


On the Food Inc official blog, I recently read this letter by Sarah Silverman, the brash comedienne,  a lifetime vegetarian.  She is a devout believer in schools providing healthier meal options to the next generation.

If someone who is widely known for pushing the envelope and blurring the line of appropriate and inappropriate in the comedic sense, is willing to go this far to make a change for our children, shouldn't we?

I recently spent a week on an island which I declare is the artist paradise. I found NO evidence of McDonaldization , nor were there anything but pure organics to be found.  It was heaven. Pure Heaven.  And in all honesty, you paid for it.  Everything had a higher price tag, but isn't that a small price to pay for a longer life, a healthier life, a more fulfilling life?

Just a few thoughts for today.  I hope it opens a few eyes.